Christie Suggest Microchipping Immigrants

Chris Christie (Bob Jagendorf)
Chris Christie (Bob Jagendorf)

By Jose El Negro Diablo
Immigration Correspondent

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, a Republican candidate for president, has recently suggested the government take ideas from the private sector to handle the problem of illegal immigration.

Christie has suggested the government hire Frederick W. Smith, founder of FedEx, to design a system that tracks immigrants the way FedEx tracks packages. Christie expanded on the idea at a recent campaign stop.

“I don’t see why we can’t microchip immigrants the same way we do pets,” Christie said. “That way, if immigrants are caught we can just wave their hand in front of a scanner and we can see if they are legal or not. If they are here illegally, they should be automatically deported.”

Brian Blank, a spokesman for the National White Alliance (NWA,) took it one step further.

“The government should put fast-acting poison in the chips,” he said. “As soon as someone’s visa has expired, the poison activates and they drop dead. That would solve the illegal immigration problem real quick.”

One comment

  1. Brian Blank beat me to it, and with a better idea. When I saw the headline about what that Obummer-hugging squish Christie said, my first thought was “The government should make all foreigners in America wear an explosive device, perhaps an ankle bracelet that’s impossible to take off without triggering it, to make sure they don’t overstay their visas.” (President The Donald would make them pay for it, too!) But REAL Americans might be hurt if they were standing too close to an illegal who blows up, and there would be gory messes that honest CITIZENS might have to clean. Poison-releasing microchips are the way to go. Especially if the non-Americans have to pay for them as a condition of their tourist visas.

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