ISIS Thanks Trump for Boosting Recruitment

Donald Trump’s swearing in ceremony. (White House)

By Jamal Whiteman

ISIS, the world’s leading terrorist group, has sent President Donald Trump a fruit basket and a Koran to thank him for boosting their numbers. According to leaked emails, ISIS states their recruiting numbers have exceeded their wildest estimates.

“Praise be to Allah, for the orange infidel Trump and his Muslim-hating policies,” said Ali Mustafa, an ISIS spokesperson. “Nothing our propagandists have written has been as good for our numbers as Trump. All we have to do is play his press conferences on a loop, and the recruits pour in.”

A report by CNN also suggests that Trump’s policies, such as the Muslim ban, are benefitting ISIS and other Islamic terrorist groups. Former jihadists say Trump is playing into the hands of terrorists.

“[Trump’s] helped ISIS a lot, he’s basically being a tool for them in a way,” said Abu Obaida, a reformed British terrorist. “On social media right now there’s a lot of people quoting Anwar al-Awlaki (the late spokesperson for al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula) and his last speech when he said that America will turn on the Muslims.”